1.6 Recognition

Jackie: I wake up at about six AM and make my way out to Bryce's couch. I begin to think. I swore to myself I wouldn't get caught up in drugs again when I sobered up. This is not good. I can't be involved with him. I need to get out of here. But he needs serious help with his problem...

Bryce: Oh man, my head hurts. What happened last night? Where's my hair and beard? I need some coffee or something. I get up to go to the kitchen. That's when I see her, and my memories come rushing back. My stomach drops. I had sex with Jackie.

"Hey," I say awkwardly as she heads toward the door. "Hey," she says, not looking me in the eye. I'm perplexed. "Wanna have some breakfast? I bet you're starving," I say, much to my own surprise. I never invite a girl over for breakfast. But she looks upset, and I don't want her to be upset.

She looks at me. God, even without makeup, she's beautiful. Something in her expression changes. "Sure, why not." She doesn't say it like a question. "As long as I'm here, I may as well make sure you don't get into any trouble." As long as you're around. "Alright, awesome! I'm gonna go get dressed and then whip something up." "You cook?" She sounds surprised. "Yeah, when I have the time," I reply.

I make some pancakes and we both take plates. I feel a familiar tug pulling at my body and my brain. "Look, can I just have one cigarette? I really need one," I plead with her. She looks at me sternly.

"No, not even just one. You need to kick this habit and I'm going to help you." I look down and smile. As long as it meant we'd be spending time together. Before I look up, she starts talking.

"Look, I'm sorry if I've been acting weird today. It's just, in light of what happened last night, I feel like I have some things to tell you. I know that you have some feelings for me, still. I can tell. I'm sorry to call you out on that like this, but I'm not going to lead you on. I was really fucked up when I was in high school. With drugs and stuff, I mean. I made myself a promise to never go back to that lifestyle and it's worked fine for me. And I like you, I think you're a really cool guy, but I can't be around this lifestyle you have. So we can be friends, but nothing more. I'm really sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest," she sighs. My stomach drops. I guess I had kind of resigned myself to the idea that I liked her when I asked her to eat, but I never thought about how she felt. "That's fine," I feel myself smiling. "Let's just hang out as friends. Excuse me."

I get up and go downstairs to check my mail. Nothing, I knew there would be nothing. I just didn't want to be up there feeling like that. I have a girl in my apartment, the only girl I've liked since my ex, and she doesn't want anything to do with me. That hurts, man. But then I get an idea. What if I just quit partying altogether? No, that's too hard. But I want to be with her, and if that's all she requires...

I head back upstairs. I tell her that if she wants to stay and keep an eye on me, she can help herself to anything in my apartment, that I need to practice some lines. I just stare at myself in the mirror.

"You can do it. You can quit. You can be with her. It's all within reach," I whisper to myself. I stare at myself some more. This is going to take a lot of determination. I check my watch. Holy shit, it's already night time?

Jackie: I feel so bad for calling him out like that. I just needed to tell him that. He's a good guy deep down. Would I be with him if things were different, if he was clean? Yeah, yeah I would. But he's nowhere close to being clean yet. But if he doesn't mind, I think I'll stick around. I just want to make sure he's okay this first day.

Bryce: I exit my room and see her using my old, decrepit easel. Out of all the things in my apartment, I didn't think she'd take to this one. "Jackie?"

She turns to face me. "What's up, Bryce?" "I'm going to go get some dinner, do you wanna come? Don't worry, I'll just pay for myself, so it won't be a date," I joke. She gives me a half smile. "Alright, I'll come, but then I think I may go home." My heart leaps. "That's fine, that's great!"